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  • Chicken Poop for the Mole: “Trom and Breeky”

    November 26th, 2013

    Dearest readers,

    Here is the third and final chapter of my Chicken Poop for the Mole anthology. I hope you are not too put off by how much it differs from the previous instalments.

    Sincerely,

    Justina

    chicken poop for the mole

    Trom and Breeky

     Tuesday, March 24, 2046

    0910 Breeky meets Trom in the supply closet and they exchange a series of awkward pleasantries.

    0913 Trom moves in to kiss Breeky on the cheek.

    0914 Trom and Breeky begin to make out vigorously.

    0924 Breeky asks Trom to tell her what his meeting this morning with their boss was about. Are they any closer to identifying the mole in their midst?

    0925 Trom won’t tell Breeky. He nibbles on her ear.

    0927 Trom tries to go to second base but Breeky is not feelin’ it.

    0929 Trom tells Breeky the meeting was about the password to unleash a scourge of deadly alien diseases on the planet Mukkerog, home of the suspected mole. Breeky finds this very interesting.

    0930 Breeky tells Trom he can go to second base IF he tells her the password. Trom tells Breeky: POOP NEKCIHC.

    0940 Breeky knows that if she says the password backwards three times then the plan will backfire. So she whispers it three times — CHICKEN POOP CHICKEN POOP CHICKEN POOP — while Trom nibbles on Breeky’s other ear.

    0941 Trom dies in Breeky’s arms.

    0942 Breeky leaves the supply closet to find that everybody on Earth is dead. Her work on Earth complete, Breeky teleports back to her home planet of Mukkerog, where she wins the Mole of the Year award.

    trom and breeky, chicken poop for the mole

  • sunrise sunset mittens

    November 4th, 2013

    Free pattern download for sunrise-sunset-mittens.pdf!

    UGH! All I want to do is knit. Here’s the second-last thing to come off my needles…

    sunrise sunset mittens

    I have named them the SUNRISE SUNSET mittens. Here’s what they would look like if I were wearing them whilst carrying a pile of invisible firewood.

    sunrise sunset mittens

    And here’s what they would look like if I were warming my hands over an invisible fire in the woods.

    sunrise sunset mittens

    I thought I would share the pattern, mostly because Amy asked for a link to it, but also because it’s the first pattern I’ve written up and I’m curious to see if A) anybody will use it and B) it’s readable.

    Screenshot of the pattern!

    sunrise sunset mittens pattern screenshot

    DOWNLOAD THE PATTERN HERE!!!! sunrise-sunset-mittens.pdf

     

  • adventures in making stuff: peggy pointer edition

    October 24th, 2013

    This past weekend Evan and I shared a table at Canzine Toronto. I was selling Peggy Pointer books and rocks and stuff, and Evan was selling Arcane Bullshit tarot cards. People loooved his Arcane Bullshit tarot cards, because who wouldn’t like to wield the awesome power of divine bullshit in their hands? If you haven’t checked them out, you should. www.arcanebullshit.com

    Here’s a picture of us peddling our wares:

    evan and me!
    Photo courtesy of Christie Lau!

    In other news, I spent all the money I made that day on stuff that I thought looked cool and felt inspired by. That was fun.

    As for Peggy Pointer and me, our sales were slim, but some of my really kind friends bought books. That was REALLY nice of them.

    I’ve got some photos from the book-making process, so please let me tell you about my whole entire journey.

    1. I made up Peggy Pointer when I was in a REALLY boring meeting one day. At first her legs were also made of fingers, but these gave her a very bulky (not cute) appearance.
    2. I vowed to come up with a “Peggy Pointer p_______ a p_______” cartoon every day. But I quit for some reason.
    3. Months later, I decided to make the pictures I had into a book.
    4. But the illustrations were all inconsistent. So I re-traced 25 old Peggy Pointer drawings so that the line work would be consistent.
    5. I scanned all of the re-traced images into the computer, only to have Evan tell me they all looked “overworked.” Sigh.
    6. I arranged everything in InDesign. This REALLY made me wish I had worked on the yearbook in grade eleven because I felt like a headless chicken inside a computer.
    7. I PDFed my InDesign file and put it on a thumb drive.
    8. I took my PDF file to the neighbourhood print/copy/mailbox centre where a really nice guy helped me print everything up. He even collated the pages for me. I promised to bring him a sticker for all of his help. But I am terrible at keeping promises. 😦
      (((( HERE’S WHERE THE PICTURES BEGIN!!!! ))))
    9. I sewed up each copy by hand.
    10. I coloured each page with a splash of yellow. No two books are alike. (I also added some red details.)
    11. I put all the books in a stack. Yay!!!!!
    books! beginning the sewn binding process!
    About to begin the sewn binding process. This is not an ad for Staedtler. Or is it?
    sew threadfully boring.
    Sew threadfully boring. Frisbees make great containers for pencils and stuff.
    books! hand-colouring each copy!
    The most fun part of the whole process: adding random yellow to each page!
    books!
    No two books are alike.
    books!
    A stack of books!

    Oh! I also sold a bunch of rocks that I stole from the beach and drew on with a black pen and yellow Sharpie. I tried to turn the smaller ones into magnets but I didn’t mix the epoxy properly and so it didn’t work out.

    rocks! a box full of rocks!
    A box full of rocks! Not fun to carry.
    rocks! hand-drawn peggy pointer!
    For some kind of magic spell.
    rocks!
    A cluster of rocks.
    rocks!
    A swarm.
    rocks!
    Rocks!

    And guess what!!! I sold a grand total of 8 rocks to people who were willing to pay for rocks. For you economists out there, that’s a rate of 1.33333 rocks per hour. Unbelievable, huh?! Strangers are so kind. Stranger still, I was told by a girl who bought a rock that screenprinting every page of my book would have made me 58723710236% cooler. So that’s the secret?! But I think can live with being 58723710236% less cool than I could potentially be. But the strangest thing of all: when I changed the stickers from “$X” to “FREE,” people REALLY started to like them! Whoa!!!

    I also had an assortment of fingerless mittens up for sale. I sold two pairs. Yay.

    fingerless mittens!
    Fingerless mittens!
    fingerless mittens!
    I tried to give each pair a clever name. My favourite: “Oatmeal Jeanjacket.” Or “Jeanmeal.”
    fingerless mittens!
    Fingerless mittens.

    The end. Anybody want to buy a pair of mittens?

  • peggy pointer pats the peepers.

    October 9th, 2013

    peggy pointer pats the peepers.

    peggy pointer pats the peepers.

  • peggy pointer paddles in the pond.

    July 22nd, 2013

    peggy pointer paddles in the pond.

     

    peggy pointer paddles in the pond.

  • peggy pointer pops a pimple.

    June 2nd, 2013

    peggy pointer pops a pimple.

    peggy pointer pops a pimple.

  • i’ll write you a letter

    May 26th, 2013

    special delivery!

     

    When I was ten, my family moved from Hong Kong to Toronto. This was before we all became addicted to the Internet, Geocities, and ICQ, and when hour-long long-distance phone calls were out of the question for ten-year-olds on opposite sides of the world. So snail mail was how I stayed in touch with my friends, Tania, Michelle, and Jess.

    I wrote my best friend Jess nearly every day for a good year. Once a week I would stuff the various pieces of paper and knick-knacks into a big, fat envelope and mail it to Hong Kong. And every day I would check our mailbox — even if the flag was down, with even greater anticipation — to see if any similarly fat and exciting packages had arrived for me.

    I still have a shoebox filled with letters from Jess.

    We barely talk any more.

    Maybe I’ll find out her address and write her a letter.

  • The Bike Song – Leah Juel and Justina Chong, ft. Animals in Bonnets

    May 16th, 2013

    ** Turn on the captions to sing along! **

    Leah and I made up this song when we were part of Centennial College’s Children’s Entertainment Program. Leah is an amazing (and HILARIOUS) voice actress — she played Topaz Trollhopper in the cartoon Trollz!!!

    (I uploaded a crappy mp3 version of the audio two years ago, but the plugin stopped working and I didn’t have the patience to fix it. So I made this video instead.)

    Enjoy !! ? ?  Do you like it ?? ?

  • peggy pointer plays around in photoshop.

    May 6th, 2013

    peggy pointer plays around in photoshop.

    peggy pointer plays around in photoshop.

  • animals in bonnets

    April 29th, 2013

    animals in bonnetsanimals in bonnets

     

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